Chromosome Quest: Love, Dinosaurs, and the Clockwork Apocalypse

Fitz is an out of work cybersecurity jock. His skills are top-notch, but he is big, clumsy and awkward, and finds it hard to hold a job. Then he spots an advertisement that he can’t seem to get away from. Everywhere he looks, the offensive ad pops up. Fed up, he answers the ad, unsure whether he wants the job, or just wants to give the obnoxious perpetrator a piece of his mind. He meets a crazy old charlatan named Petchy and lands the job — except it’s not precisely what he expected. The job involves brutal training on a planet inhabited by carnivores worthy of a Hollywood CGI spectacular, and he must live and train for months among a dying, desperate, stone-age civilization of bawdy, uninhibited fur-bearing humans. He adapts to the harsh stone-age lifestyle, makes a home among the fur-people, and falls in love with Lolita, the nubile young daughter of the Fur-People’s queen. But life among the fur-people is not without complications. He lusts for the unattainable crimson-haired goddess Teena, while Lolita remains the light of his life and mother of his son. Thanks to the brutal training regimen, Fitz transforms into humanity’s hero. He must face hungry carnivorous dinosaurs, and a runaway AI computer bent on destroying humankind. Warning: This book contains castles, carnivorous dinosaurs, ribald humor, sex, and gratuitous nudity. It will make you cringe one moment and laugh out loud the next.